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[ bending millitime since 2008 ]
[ april fools ] all scruffed up
justdidntseeit wrote in milliways_bar
Since she landed in Bill Pardy's body, Kate Warner has endured a lot of indignities.

Chief among them: facial hair.

She's a wo!man on a mission as she approaches the counter; she's got a Bar to see about an electric razor.

- - - - -

out-of-body experience

Ben Wade is on a stool at one end of the bar with a piece of pie and a cup of coffee, but he's not quite himself. He's still gimping around in Dan Evans' body.

He's taken good care of it, though.

He only lost the wooden boot once.

Maybe twice.

[ ooc: belated double-pup post to scoot these crazy kids back to their respective bodies, but not plot-locked in any way; open for decades! ]

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Bill has tried to be good while in Kate's body, really. But, well, it turns out a sweet tooth is more of a mental thing than anything that goes along with teeth, and he's got cravings that need satisfying.

And so, while Kate's out, he makes a (rather lousy) covert trip down to the bar. Stepping up to the counter, he tries to keep his voice low.

"Alright, Bar, I need two scoops of Brownie Batter ice cream, topped with Oreos, whip cream an' M&Ms. An' a beer."

Not so fast, Bill.

"Hold it, sheriff," Kate says, taking two steps closer and putting a hand on his elbow.

"Not until you get your own metabolism back."

Grinning, she lifts the pink sparkly gun in her free hand.

He's thinking about adding gummi bears to the order when the voice and touch make him jump.

Working through excuses and something to say, his eyes drop down to the gun and he grins wide instead.

"Y'found it!"

Her grin bleeds toward wry.

"In the lost and found, of all places."

Bill's own smile turns wry, and he stares at her a moment before shaking his head.

"You serious? Lord, that makes me feel real smart."

"I think I may have to hand my degree back to Stanford," she says with a soft chuckle.

She holds out the gun.

"Here -- fair's fair, right? You should, um, shoot me since I shot you in the first place."

A beat.

"No, wait -- that'll still hurt you when we switch."


His eyes go down to the gun, and he looks back at Kate, shaking his head.

"Kate, I can't... it was an accident."

Shooting her deliberately would be mean, and hard. Just the thought of pulling a trigger on her, sparkley gun or not, makes him uneasy.

Of course, if she shoots him it's her body that will have to deal with the aftermath.

"But -- "

Frowning, she chews her lower lip.

"What're we going to do, rock-paper-scissors for it?"

Bill's brow knits and he thinks about it a minute. Reaching for the gun, he takes it and looks it over.

"I could shoot myself. Think that'd work?"

Dubiously, "Shoot yourself?"

Her eyes flick from Bill to the gun, and back.

"Sweetheart, I don't know. Will the transfer still work that way?"

"S'better'n shootin' you."

He looks at the gun, fiddling with it, then shrugs.

"Only one way t'find out."

With that he points the gun at his thigh, closes his eyes, and pulls the trigger.

"Sonuva-- Christ!"

"Bill, don't -- "

She's a half-second too late; he's already pulling the trigger, and she's wincing in anticipation, waiting for a jolt and a lasting sting --

But it doesn't come.

She opens her eyes to see ... herself.

She's still in Bill's body.

Which means he's still in hers.


God, that smarts.

He rubs at his leg, muttering under his breath.

Straightening up again, he looks at her, and she's still him.

"Well, that didn't work."

She's caught between sympathy and bemusement as she holds out a hand.

"I'll do it, sheriff. Fair is fair -- your body took the zap that started this three-ring circus."

He'd argue, but knows it won't do any good, and really he just wants his own body back already.


He holds out the gun, then gestures with his other hand.

"Back up a little, though."

He's discovered that point blank hurts a lot more than having a little range.

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